Ruchie’s Notebook


Some of you blokes may have read recently about my habit of writing things down in my notebook each day. Apparently it is the thing to do in lots of these books about How To Be A Highly Effective Somethingorother, but for me, the reasons are different. Truth is, I’ve been sconed in the head so many times lying on the pill I have trouble remembering who I am or what I’m doing most of the time, so I’ve gotta write things down. Flipping through the pages helps me remember who I am and what I’m s’posed to be doing at any given time. Anyway, some people have been pestering me about what’s inside it, so I figured I’d take a look meself.

Having people come up to me in the street and genuflecting and stuff and women saying things like “You can park your trophies under my crib anytime, big boy” helps also, but I still have to take me notebook with me. So, anyway, apparently this year has been a good year. Me and the Boys have won a coupla things along the way, although I think we lost to some blokes in white recently somewhere. I think it must have been some kind of international barbarians type thing ‘cos there were all sorts of accents and skin colours out there. One minute you’re taking an elbow from a Saffer, next some Islander’s got you by the nuts and there’s some guy sounds like a bro yelling in my ear he’s gonna take my fucking head off, so I dunno what that was about. Used to be we’d head up north to play and everyone looked the same, you just nailed the skinny white fucker, took the pill from him and gave it to Ma’a.

Never mind, I just turn up, DC helps me remember which boot goes on which foot, and I go out there and give it heaps till the ref blows his whistle and we all go take a shower. Apparently my notebook is telling me I’v gotta take a break for a few months now, so that’ll be sweet.

The notebook comes in real handy when I’m flying a plane. Once, when I loaded the Boys into a DC3 (that’s a plane, not Dan Carter’s other doppelganger) to get to Wellington ‘cos there was an earthquake or something, I left it behind and if Brad hadn’t been sitting next to me yelling “Put the fucking wheels down first!” it might have got ugly when we came in to land.

Anyway, I’d just like to encourage all you nippers out there to start kicking a footie around as soon as you can. She’s a great career. People drive you places, you get spoon fed and there’s chicks like wall paper. So maybe I’ll drop by some time again and flip through me notes for ya, let you know what’s going on here in Trophyville.

Ruchie doesn’t remember telling this to Avs.

About sagmog

Just the facts, man.
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478 Responses to Ruchie’s Notebook

  1. thaumaturge says:

    As an Irish person, I have to support Munster, but I am sitting next to a Cardiff man who has, let’s face it, been very disappointed for quite some months.

  2. titimanionga says:

    I just saw this and it made me laugh. Turns out The Killing was in English all along:

  3. Michael448 says:

    Very good Claw. Still struggling the last series of the killing

  4. thaumaturge says:

    All right, Killer, I apologise unreservedly.

    Upon closer inspection, your avatar is not nearly orange enough to be Gavin Henson.

  5. thaumaturge says:

    Looks a wee bit foggy in Limerick.

  6. thaumaturge says:

    Christ, this is a boring match.

  7. titimanionga says:

    Fair play Blues

  8. thaumaturge says:

    The mister has just disagreed. (Try for Cardiff.)

  9. Fergus says:

    Anybody get the feeling that we really miss O Callaghan and Zebo? Dire night for Munster

  10. Michael448 says:

    I think Munster might decide to move back to Thomond after this display, for a neutral it’s dire to watch

  11. thaumaturge says:

    Fergus – I’d like to see Stringer playing. Unfortunately not poss.

  12. thaumaturge says:

    Where is Musgrave Park??

  13. killerline says:

    I’m a neutral and I’m loving it.

  14. tompirracas says:


  15. thaumaturge says:

    Thanks, Tom. Why aren’t they playing at Thomond? Did not realise!

  16. Michael448 says:

    Thaum I think they split their home matches between the 2 grounds

  17. tompirracas says:

    They play a (very) few Pro 12 games at Musgrave Park every year.

  18. thaumaturge says:

    Well! The mister is happy but bemused.

    Thanks for info on Musgrave.

  19. tompirracas says:

    This year it’s 4 Pro 12 games in Cork and 7 in Limerick.

  20. thaumaturge says:

    Who were those stooges impersonating Munster though?

  21. tompirracas says:

    Anyway, well played Cardiff. Showed some spirit and more skill than they have for much of the rest of the season. Sets them up nicely for next week’s away game against Toulon.

  22. thaumaturge says:

    Apparently the Julian Assange arrest story is a hoax. Stand down.

  23. saltysam says:

    What a strange website to stumble onto after so many years at the Gordian. Very pleased with the Unhunnybadgerish diaries, well done to all and I shall try to spend a little more time here from now on – workload and bandwidth and allah willing.

    Good win for the ‘Diff, now I can stick it up the two Munster supporters that I work with – which is, after all, why we follow the game, isn’t it?

  24. thaumaturge says:

    Hello saltysam, and welcome!

    I am off now but I’m sure others will entertain you.

  25. Fergus says:

    Awful night for Munster, Cardiff fully deserved their win. We really missed quite a few players, O Mahony, O Callaghan, Zebo, Murray (godforbid) and Sherry/Varley. The real liabilities were Williams and Hurley.

    Warbs was alright, Roberts wasn’t getting up to much but Cardiff looked very coordinated, well-organised and willing to ‘stick it to us’. Tatchell looked pretty good all night, while Ronan was good but mediocre?!?

    Scary stuff for Munster fans…..

  26. Chekhovian says:

    Thanks Cardiff, you’ve kept the Weedge in 2nd place!

  27. sagmog says:

    Farrell starting at 10 for Sarries this afternoon.
    Cippers at 10 for Sale.
    I’m excited already.

  28. dermott says:

    Home again. The little town seems a bit littler after Paris and London. Compares very favorably with Dorset, but.

    Stupid yellow card decision against Varndell. The lifting tackle phobia is getting out of hand.

  29. sagmog says:

    Is Wasps No. 5 wearing a bra?

  30. sagmog says:

    15-6 to Sarries a HT.
    All off Farrell’s boot.

  31. avsfan says:

    I do like the cut of the jib of that Wasps 15. Clean cut, decisive, a born leader. Which country does he qualify for?

  32. avsfan says:

    Nick Easter on Thomas Waldrom:

    “I have no problem with the likes of Manu Tuilagi and Dylan Hartley (born in Samoa and New Zealand respectively), who were educated here and learnt their rugby here, but it is a little bit harder in the case of somebody who was born, educated and learnt their rugby somewhere else,” Easter told The Sunday Times in reference to Waldrom.

    When do Quins play Leicester next? I can understand Easter’s frustration, but surely its root cause is that he is not as good as he needs to be to supplant Waldrom. The fact that Walders had ‘not up to test level’ stamped on his forehead diminishes Lucan’s case, somewhat.

  33. avsfan says:

    Fucking blockquote.

  34. avsfan says:

    Then he really shows what a twat he is by adding this bit:

    Easter, who has arguably improved since being cast into the international wilderness, is adamant England have got it wrong by adopting such a recruitment policy. “There’s no reason why England should be getting players in this way with the population of players we’ve got. It’s a bit of an insult to our rugby. How come we’re not developing our own players? I know the All Blacks did it with Pacific Islanders in the 70s and 80s but if it was left to me, I wouldn’t take a player from another country that is available only because he didn’t make it in his own country.”

  35. sagmog says:

    Maybe he’s just trying to make himself more visible.
    Besides, he’s behind more than just Waldrom.

  36. avsfan says:

    Nice finish by Wade, by the way.

  37. sagmog says:

    Heathcote on, now, let’s see if we can move Laidlaw back to 9 for Scotland…

  38. tompirracas says:

    Avs, I’m pleased that Lord Easter of Lucan has highlighted the poor quality of education available to 16-year olds in the Rotorua area.

  39. avsfan says:

    Funny how all of Edward’s ex teams are doing really well? Perhaps the RFU are his pay masters after all.

  40. avsfan says:

    @tompirracas: that is quite a points for / against differential: 837 – 137.

  41. Onlyonet says:

    Strettle the try butcherer was excellent off the left wing for Saracens today. Given how apparently difficult it is to play on the left wing as a right winger, he’ll probably be in the 6n squad.

  42. saltysam says:

    @sag “is Wasps No.5 wearing a bra”

    essentially, yes. I’ve been trying to work it out for a while since noticing a LOT of the Superduperrugby training and playing in these things. Somebody told me that it is for their GPS tracker things, but shewerly a straightforward cranial implant would be a lot less laundry and probably less embarrassing.
    Some of the tight five might gain a bit of benefit from the ‘support’ feature, but to me it just looks very, very odd.

  43. MisterIks says:

    The end?

    Last post?

    Blog steal?

    Were the Hobyahs here?

  44. MichaelVaughanMyLord says:

    I have some sympathy for Easter, given he has been the best 8 in the AP this season and last. Also the age thing is b0ll0cks, Lancaster had no problem picking Monye for the AIs when he was clearly a stop-gap and there were superior options in the AP (e.g. Wade, JSD).

  45. killerline says:


    Easter plays well for Quins. He had some very poor games for England and this column-sniping demonstrates he knows his international career is done. As a Quins fan surely this pleases you?

    See also: Borgwick: a rock for Sarries this season but, again, not enough to bring him back for England.

    I thought Morgan was very good @8 this weekend btw; a player who’s shown he can also raise his game on the next level up…

  46. titimanionga says:

    BSD – how is Morgan’s diet coming along? I haven’t seen him play in a wee while.

    Who’s going to step up and do a Shaun Edwards column? It’s a pity Quiff isn’t around – he has the necessary sweary goodness for it.

  47. killerline says:


    He’s still a better door than a window, if that’s what you’re asking.

    Quiff would be perfect for SE, he has a real talent for well-written obscenity…

  48. titimanionga says:

    As long as he’s not a sash window

  49. Karl1976 says:

    MVML – perhaps Lucan is regarded as a bit of a barrack-room lawyer by the management? He gets a lot of grief over the ’30 grand down the drain’ comment. He’s not shown any consistently strong performances in any of the international matches he’s played, and I’d rather see him doing what he does, brilliantly, for Quins, than looking out of his depth on an international park. It’s one thing saying a player is becoming better as he ages – compare the 2012 vintage of Mike Brown to the 2007 one. But Brown is 26 or 27 now, whilst Easter is 34. Easter isn’t going to get any better in an England shirt now than he was in 2011 or 2010 – he’s playing the quality of club rugby now, or maybe just above that quality, that got him into a white shirt in the first place.

    I’m no fan of Waldrom per se, but despite his far more NZ-nurtured upbringing he’s at least got the bloodline, as has Hartley. In some respects I’d rather see rules that allow them to be in the side rather than someone like Mauritz Botha. Whilst I’m aware Botha didn’t come to England to play with intention of playing for England, I think it’s a shame that residency alone now allows you to qualify to play for a different country.

  50. Chekhovian says:

    Mike Blair has retired from international rugby.

  51. OnlyoneT says:


    Qualifying on residency also means that they can deport you when you’re no longer of use

  52. LarryMilne says:

    Missed most of the weekend’s games – Ulster-Scarlets was it for me. Good match, we soldier on.

    @Chek – is he playing in ProD2 in France?

    @OnlyoneT – that is laughable.

  53. Karl1976 says:

    @OnlyoneT – blimey that is harsh on him.

  54. HairBearHero says:

    Yikes, rough break for Fourie. Seems a bit ridiculous…

  55. Chekhovian says:

    @Chek – is he playing in ProD2 in France?

    Yeah, he’s settled in quite well there. Seems to be one of the reasons why he’s leaving int rugby – young family, can’t be arsed with the travel, reaching end of career anyway.

  56. HairBearHero says:

    Also, just spotted that somebody proposed trying to get EBT to do an ATL piece – think that’d be great. Get him to do an England-centric 6N piece

  57. killerline says:

    I can’t quite believe that about Fourie…

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