Sam Warburton: View from the Cryo-Chamber

SamTheBan001

I’ve managed to get a release from the cryo chamber temporarily to be able to update my column. As everyone knows last season we used the portable cryo-chambers (when we weren’t in Poland) after training and after matches to help give us that extra edge. This really helped with our fitness and got us to the Grand Slam and now we’re taking it a step further and installing them in our homes for use after any physical movement. I walked up the stairs and did a dump so I had to have my mandatory 30 minutes at -230ºC before I could sit down and write this.

We’re sure that next time we play the Wallabies the extra fitness will really tell and we’ll run them off the park towards the end of the game. I’m getting Warren to lobby the IRB to increase the time of each half to 1 day. Then our superior fitness from use of the cryo chambers will really show!

Mind you, it’s all change in the Wales coaching team at the moment, with Warren going to be taking Rob with the Lions. Apparently Robbie McBride will be the head coach with Shaun staying. I asked Shaun if it was because he liked staying in Wales so much but he said F$%&*(g Gatland can f%^&!k of and f*(?!&^g s?!£ my *^%!, he’s a c%&t!. I’m not sure what he meant, but I’m sure he wishes Warren all the best.

SamTheBan002

Speaking of the Lions, I just hope I manage to get through the next 6N in one piece as it’s been a bit of a year for injuries and I missed a lot of the international matches. Just this morning I twisted my left testicle getting out of bed, and the exertion meant I had to go to the cryo chamber for a 2 hour session and my right pinkie stuck on the door and fell off! Still, training went well & I only broke my left femur and right elbow. 4 hours in the cryo chamber at -270ºC froze it all back together again and I’m good to go. Still, Warren assures me that as long as I have one leg and a functional finger I’ll be captaining the Lions which would be the greatest honour ever! We’ll have to lock the squad in cryo-chambers for the whole tour, only let out for matches. We’ll be so fit we’ll surely win.

SamTheBan003

The other week all our legs fell off in the Cryo Chamber!

As captain of Wales people often ask my opinion of many things. Just last week some scientific guy asked me whether all this cryotherapy was a good thing, especially as being cooled to -273ºC (he called this 0 kelvin or absolute zero or some such) could result in all atomic motion ceasing in the immediate vicinity with unknowable consequences. Well that’s as maybe, but look at the difference it’s made to our fitness!

Anyway, my fingers have heated up with all this typing so it’s back to the cryo chamber for me.

PlanetOfChimps died of hypothermia retrieving this blog.
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About sagmog

Just the facts, man.
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709 Responses to Sam Warburton: View from the Cryo-Chamber

  1. HairBearHero says:

    @Larry

    yellow

    I appreciate this is facetious, but Foden never gets this level of examination on his defensive play…

    Poor example Larry, as we all compared Gray’s charge to Rennie’s fumble in the previous round. Foden absolutely nailed it – you have to hit someone, anyone, and force them to do the hard work and hope for the error.

    Still, neither of them’s a patch on 1/2p defensively.

  2. Sexton is highly likely to be the Lions ten. You might want to start hoping his form is good.

    It’ll be post Borg-Update (passing mod) Farrell.

    The whole post was facetious, to be honest.

  3. Baldy says:

    Pretty happy with that perspective eps & Saxons!

    I think the important thing is to take the two as a whole – after all, Lancaster is only allowed to make 5 changes to each, and burns, Launch, Youngs, strettle& Clarke would fill the quota! Mako replaces retired Stevens..

    But players in the Saxons are often training full time wit the eps to get them ready – see lawes, manu, marler, launch, Youngs etc etc.. 12trees spent a large part of the autumn training with the EPS..

    So expect the same of Billy V, Thompkins (started nearly every game for the Borg..) & others in the Saxons, and rapid promotion if they do well!

    With the changes – strettle has done well on the left, it seems to cause serious problems for wingers so I certainly wouldn’t put wade tere and ruin him. Bench and a run v the Italians on the right maybe

    Clarke – served his punishment, however short it was, but one obvious thing is we need more nasty in our pack, there’s a line obviously, but we need that aggressive physicality to challenge the top teams, one big plus from the AI was how we stood toe-to-toe with the saffers & kiwis.

    Clarke has to learn to bottle it up a bit, but he’s competitive to err a somewhat ridiculous degree. And you ain’t gonna wanna piss him off.. It must helps if your enforcers in the locks are actually quite hard & intimidating, as opposed to the lot we have ha recently, even shaw was a teddy bear

    & lawes has looked good recently, if somewhat unfit and off the pace, but his carrying has improved a lot, and the added bulk must help..

  4. laraxwell says:

    I think it would be much funnier to do each other’s countries
    and load them up with as many cliches as possible
    Heaven springs eternal
    flatter to deceive
    etc

  5. sagmog says:

    @ChimpRockPerson
    Bloody flippin’ well bloody was.

  6. Saxons could be very exciting to watch – Daly, Wade, Fraiser, Kvevic, Kruis, Grey, Ford, Spencer, Vunipola, May – anyone know when are the Saxons games are scheduled?

    Indeed. I’d expect them to play at a furious lick too looking at those names.

    The only fixtures I can see for the Saxons (according to rfu,com) are the 25th Jan away to Ireland A and the 1st Feb at home to Scotland A.

    I know Wales don’t have a second team but France and Italy do so I’m not sure why only the two fixtures? Unless it’s to keep the clubs onside given that they’ll be without the 32 EPS squad members for the entire 6N’s?

  7. Is there any mileage in converting Tomkins to a 12? I know that sounds odd, but we’ve now got Manu, JJ, Tomkins and Eastmond all of whom look tasty at 13, with an utter absence of 12s.

  8. LarryMilne says:

    @MVML – I think it boils down to age. SL wants to move the squad on and Easter is 34. Whether or not he’s better than Waldrom, or anyone else, is moot. I can understand why he’s not happy about this but the coach has a plan and them’s the breaks.

    @ticht – Toner’s almost too tall or, rather, his body shape is all wrong for rugby; proper beanpole (whereas Richie Gray, who is only 3cm shorter, is a broad fella built for egg chasing).

  9. (while still holding a grudge against FugaziFan for his “painfully unfunny” comment)

    I remember when I did them in the World Cup and someone said they were painfully unfunny, and only those that thought Peep Show was humorous could find them amusing.

    Everyone’s a critic.

    and load them up with as many cliches as possible

    That’s the joy of the HASK voice. He’s incapable of doing/ being anything else.

  10. laraxwell says:

    It added to the community feel of the boards.

    Yes..we were saying this yesterday. The intense post match rugby debate followed by a cooling of heads, a little banter and plenty of bullshit..ie the old Guardian blogs is actually reflect how a real day out at the rugby unfolds.

  11. HairBearHero says:

    @ticht

    He’s enormous, but doesn’t seem to be terribly useful with it. Gets folded in half and driven backwards waaaaaay too much for a man of that heft. Of the few Leinster games I’ve watched recently, he doesn’t even appear to be particularly adept at lineouts (which is odd, considering that hitting him must be pretty easy…) but that might have just been him/Strauss/Cronin having a howler.

  12. tichtheid says:

    I want at least one Lions pack to be the following, just once would be fun;

    Corbs
    Ford
    Jones
    Toner
    Gray
    Ferris
    Denton
    Robshaw

  13. laraxwell says:

    hey I’m doing the text thing followed by nrmal text but all comes up smelling italic?

  14. tichtheid says:

    @ Larry and HBH – bang goes my fun then.

  15. Ford

    Ach, I appreciate wee George was Young IRB player of the year, but he’s never big enough for a Lions pack.

    Oh, you mean that dickhead that can’t throw straight that plays hooker for Scotland? Yikes, no thanks.

  16. PlanetoftheChimps says:

    @Sag

    Have care my musical friend. I’m in Glasgow today. I’ll go out and order some chips with brown sauce. I’ll do it, I really will.

    Bloody effin’ arsing bloody wasn’t

  17. laraxwell says:

    yes Tich..no bad seats in the stadium that day..at least 2 players in constant view all match

  18. You’re not closing the italics, Lara.

    Put /i in the pointy brackets after the bit you want highlighted.

  19. LarryMilne says:

    Poor example Larry, as we all compared Gray’s charge to Rennie’s fumble in the previous round. Foden absolutely nailed it – you have to hit someone, anyone, and force them to do the hard work and hope for the error.

    Off the top of my head… he misread Clerc’s run in the WC quarter final, let him in to score, handed Italy two tries in two minutes in the 6N and also bought a straight up dummy off Jared Payne – who went in untouched – against Ulster a month ago. That’s taken me five seconds to think of. Good example, I’d say. Kearney has made more mistakes than just one in his professional career, but he’s not a liability, I just think that one thing has been blown out of all proportion, while some other players get a much easier ride.

    Halfpenny is a good defender but he can be poor at changing direction (running style? lack of lateral balance?) and this can cost him. Imhoff just ran round him in the AIs when he was the last man.

    Now, I think both Halfpenny and Foden are good defenders. Kearney too – just very harsh to start saying he’s yellow/a shit defender.

  20. sagmog says:

    I’m in Glasgow today

    What brings you to the civilised world?
    *waves from window*

  21. actually, I take that back. I’ve had a look and remove the space before the / to close.

  22. HairBearHero says:

    Ticht – swap in Croft and Wood for Denton/Robshaw and call it a Beanpoles VIII

  23. boanova says:

    I know that sounds odd, but we’ve now got Manu, JJ, Tomkins and Eastmond all of whom look tasty at 13, with an utter absence of 12s.

    I think eastmond’s too small to be an international 13, he’ll be a wing of 15, hopefully with the Healey-esque ability to step in at SH or FH when required (though he’s nowhere near as accomplished as Austin in this sense. Daly is the one you’ve missed out at 13, and I reckon he’ll be the best of the bunch, given his ability at ing and FB, i just hope he doesn’t get Matt Tait-ed.

  24. laraxwell says:

    Re Toner -I thought he’d come on more this year. Bringing in Thorn last year must have been a right kick in the guts for the lanky fella. I thought they were getting through to him. He’s almost 20stones so not all skin and bone and his scrummaging ain’t bad. He was carrying lower into contact but big problem was his back row getting ball back when he goes to ground -quite a stretch. Leinster going after McCarthy this year I think consolidates a journeyman status for the rest of Toner’s playing days methinks

  25. he misread Clerc’s run in the WC quarter final, let him in to score

    True.

    handed Italy two tries in two minutes in the 6N

    Neither were defensive foibles even remotely comparative.

    Not seen the last.

    The difference is that Kearney on Gray looked like he shat it. Foden’s mistakes that you’ve picked up weren’t down to that. Clerc was a cock up, sure, but it wasn’t an exposure like Gray.

    For the record, none of them are bad in defence, and Kearney isn’t yellow- nobody that brave under a high ball could be said to be a chicken. He just had a very high profile brain fart.

  26. laraxwell says:

    I made a sound defence of Kearney’s defence last year.

  27. Baldy says:

    I’ll do a welsh preview…

    Easter is renown as an old school dean Richards style “trying hard in training ain’t cool”, “my warm up is to read the programme having a dump before the game” type of player

    There were regular comments about how Tom Wood & robshaw wee drastically fitter & trained better then anyone else before the RWC. Thankfully, they are now out loosies

    Ben Morgan is 22/23. He has never been through an academy and was a seriously decking fat labourer up until a few years ago he never played at a county level etc etc.

    By contrast, Faletau who is the same age was in the elite programme at Fulton college in Bristol & straight into the dragons squad, probly playing age groups & counties. I bet faletaus had nutrition advice & a six pack for the last decade.. And his dad was an international

    I think we have to give Morgan more time and patience to polish that raw talent, as he is about a decade behind all academy products, but what raw talent he has! Billy V as back up as we progress is tasty too, being 20.

  28. @Boa- also Tait is on his way back.

  29. PlanetoftheChimps says:

    @Sag
    Work. The UK main office is in Glasgow, we’re a bit peripheral in Embra (just in a work sense before anyone comes up with the obvious).

    In a big building in the town centre. *waves to whole of Glasgow*

    I actually lived in Glasgow for a couple of years so know it reasonably well, and end up over here fairly often. Are you central?

  30. boanova says:

    handed Italy two tries in two minutes in the 6N

    While this is true, i don’t think it’s necessary a bad reflection on Foden’s defending. The first was painfully unlucky as it ricocheted at him from about a metre away giving him no time to react. The second (probably partly because of the first) happened because he tried to force a pass that wasn’t there. Kieren Reed did that against England… he’s not a bad defender.

  31. HairBearHero says:

    @Larry

    I didn’t mean that Kearney’s generally a poor defender or that he’s “yellow”, he’s not. S’just an amsuing bit of BTL lore, similar to Paddy Feckin’ Wallace.

    Foden’s defensive capabilities (or lack thereof) were certainly analysed in similar detail that 6N – both his textbook defending vs Rennie and his howlers vs Italy.

    1/2p seems to be weirdly prone to slipping, but in a last-ditch-do-or-die situation I’d back him over just about any other FB in world rugby. The Imhoff try was unfortunate, but Imhoff’s a class attacker – carved up the ABs on one or two occasions in the 4N – and 1/2p slipped. Maybe he needs to work on his balance or get some longer studs or something.

  32. LarryMilne says:

    @Baldy – I played county Under 20s in England, does it really involve much conditioning? I was a student and, aside from an enormous number of elbow lifts, I trained a couple of times a week, no gym, and away you go.

  33. tichtheid says:

    Ticht – swap in Croft and Wood for Denton/Robshaw and call it a Beanpoles VIII

    ‘ceptin that Corbs, Ford & Jones are all about 6ft/6ft 1 and weight about 350kg between them.

    Claw, Ford will sort his throwing, the rest of his game was pretty good up till his recent stinger injury.

  34. tichtheid says:

    ^ shit – not Claw, Claw’s Cat

  35. MichaelVaughanMyLord says:

    I don’t think Easter has ever had fitness issues, just disappearing act issues. I don’t think CoS would tolerate a lax attitude to training or fitness either.

    He pretty much plays 80 minutes of every game for Quins, never gets rested, takes the armband when Robshaw is on England duty.

    Fantastic at club level, not good enough for international level, but then I’m not sure Tank is either.

  36. Fantastic at club level, not good enough for international level, but then I’m not sure Tank is either.

    Tank clearly isn’t. However, given Morgan’s lack of Fitness, I can see why he’s in the squad.

  37. boanova says:

    I suspect if Morgan get’s injured Vunipola might jump up the queue. I thought it was quote telling that when Morgan went off against the boks, Hask went to 6 and Wood to 8… I can’t see Tank being in any match day 23s.

  38. sagmog says:

    @Chimp
    Kelvingrove Park basically.
    ‘Snice.

  39. Baldy says:

    Larry –

    If your playing county level at u20’s your shit, sorry.

    Any good at that age you are in an academy, playing for England etc.

    What I meant with Morgan was he was passed over for glaws at any level (even I made u16’s for one brief cameo, but glaws county was notoriously who-you-know)

    Even at county u16’s the training was a step up from club or school, ad the fitness was a bitch (ex army pt dude)

    So from 16 till the Scarlett’s found him at Mertha he had none if the intensive training, fitness, conditioning, skills etc that every current international has. Infact, I can’t imagine there are many other players in the 6N who have done the same.

    But he’s beaten the blacks, carved up te French etc.

    Can’t judge him on normal standards even for a 22yr old international. Gonna take some time to get that body to catch up with the 8 odd years he’s missed!

  40. LarryMilne says:

    @Baldy – I make no claims to greatness, in fact that was implicit in the point. I was 18/19 and the county standard was pretty average (although a couple of my teammates did go on to play pro rugby). I played against Gloucester’s U20s (the pro club) in the same season and that was a much higher standard.

    Totally agree on Morgan, by the way – but he has been a pro for nearly four years now. That’s a long time.

  41. However, given Morgan’s lack of Fitness, I can see why he’s in the squad.

    Morgan’s fitness is coming on though. His performances for Glaws of late have gone up a notch or two and he’s finishing most games these days.

    I thought it was quote telling that when Morgan went off against the boks, Hask went to 6 and Wood to 8… I can’t see Tank being in any match day 23s.

    Didn’t the same happen against the AB’s?

    If Tank’s not starting then I don’t see him making the match day squad either. If B. Vunipola gets a couple of run outs during the 6N’s and also on England’s summer tour then I think that Waldrom may well be surplus to requirements come the EPS reshuffle in the summer.

  42. Baldy says:

    Larry – 4yrs is a long time compared to whom..

    Someone turning pro now? (He wasn’t even semi pro!)

    Or the other internationals we are judging him against who have been playing England age groups since u16..

    It’s relative: Morgan has made huge strides in 4yrs, and it’s not like the other internationals have been sat around smoking munching takeaways.. They will have been getting fitter every year themselves

    It is one motherfucker of a game of conditioning catch up to play, particularly when you are mullering your (less fit) body every week playing games

    Does make you realise what ridiculous raw talent he has!! Also he needs a lot of technical work, turns out the Scarlett’s never tought him how to tackle properly. The offloading was a good thing to learn though..

  43. Does make you realise what ridiculous raw talent he has!! Also he needs a lot of technical work, turns out the Scarlett’s never tought him how to tackle properly. The offloading was a good thing to learn though..

    How did he slip through the net so badly?

  44. Baldy says:

    Also, one of te reasons Billy V has been tearing it up this season is him & mako were told to get in better shape & spent all summer training with their dad in tonga, and they’ve been through full academy systems

    Morgan spent the summer in SA!

  45. HairBearHero says:

    I’d say Morgan’s shown enough promise/ability/x-factor to be given another couple of years to prove himself. If we’re still talking about his fitness this time next year, I’d start getting doubtful…

  46. Baldy says:

    Glaws county system is linked to all the schools & hartpury & glaws themselves.

    And has notoriously been who you know.

    When we were sith form, a Canadian was sponsored to come over an play for us for a year, because the people involved knew te right people he got invited to train with actual glaws academy, despite not really being that good in comparison to a lot of ppl I knew..

    But you also have to think that Quins released launch bury not long ago..

  47. HairBearHero says:

    But you also have to think that Quins released launch bury not long ago..

    Must be kicking themselves over that one…

  48. But you also have to think that Quins released Launchbury not long ago..

    Ouch! He was immense for Wasps at the weekend, being an international seems to have really boosted his game and confidence. Mind you, knowing you can stand toe-to-toe with the Saffers and the AB’s and not suffer in comparison has to give you a huge confidence boost? I mean, who else is going to be as frightening or good as that?

    I know Ashley Johnson got the MoTM award from Barnes but it should have been Launchbury for me, by a street.

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