I’ve managed to get a release from the cryo chamber temporarily to be able to update my column. As everyone knows last season we used the portable cryo-chambers (when we weren’t in Poland) after training and after matches to help give us that extra edge. This really helped with our fitness and got us to the Grand Slam and now we’re taking it a step further and installing them in our homes for use after any physical movement. I walked up the stairs and did a dump so I had to have my mandatory 30 minutes at -230ºC before I could sit down and write this.
We’re sure that next time we play the Wallabies the extra fitness will really tell and we’ll run them off the park towards the end of the game. I’m getting Warren to lobby the IRB to increase the time of each half to 1 day. Then our superior fitness from use of the cryo chambers will really show!
Mind you, it’s all change in the Wales coaching team at the moment, with Warren going to be taking Rob with the Lions. Apparently Robbie McBride will be the head coach with Shaun staying. I asked Shaun if it was because he liked staying in Wales so much but he said F$%&*(g Gatland can f%^&!k of and f*(?!&^g s?!£ my *^%!, he’s a c%&t!. I’m not sure what he meant, but I’m sure he wishes Warren all the best.
Speaking of the Lions, I just hope I manage to get through the next 6N in one piece as it’s been a bit of a year for injuries and I missed a lot of the international matches. Just this morning I twisted my left testicle getting out of bed, and the exertion meant I had to go to the cryo chamber for a 2 hour session and my right pinkie stuck on the door and fell off! Still, training went well & I only broke my left femur and right elbow. 4 hours in the cryo chamber at -270ºC froze it all back together again and I’m good to go. Still, Warren assures me that as long as I have one leg and a functional finger I’ll be captaining the Lions which would be the greatest honour ever! We’ll have to lock the squad in cryo-chambers for the whole tour, only let out for matches. We’ll be so fit we’ll surely win.
The other week all our legs fell off in the Cryo Chamber!
As captain of Wales people often ask my opinion of many things. Just last week some scientific guy asked me whether all this cryotherapy was a good thing, especially as being cooled to -273ºC (he called this 0 kelvin or absolute zero or some such) could result in all atomic motion ceasing in the immediate vicinity with unknowable consequences. Well that’s as maybe, but look at the difference it’s made to our fitness!
Anyway, my fingers have heated up with all this typing so it’s back to the cryo chamber for me.PlanetOfChimps died of hypothermia retrieving this blog.