England -v- Scotland: Vote for your MOTM

Well, that’s the Calcutta Cup sorted. Being nice chaps, we’re giving you the chance to vote for your man of the match, thereby ignoring the idiocy of the professional pundits.

Get voting!

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628 Responses to England -v- Scotland: Vote for your MOTM

  1. killerline says:

    An England fan is being chased by a tiger, a crocodile and J. Sexton. The England fan has a gun with two bullets. How should he proceed?

    I know what you’re thinking: Shoot Sexton twice and take what’s coming to him, but the answer’s simpler…

    …shoot the dangerous animals and watch Sexton feck the situation up like he fecks everything up. All the time. Clearances, conversions, oh man it’s a bloody nightmare.

  2. Underdog says:

    That troll costume suits you ill, dear doctor.

  3. Karl1976 says:

    You should try watching the remake called ‘Sauce Code’ when you are sober, Meades.

  4. laraxwell says:

    Oh I agree killer
    That’s why Ronan is nailed on for the Lions

  5. firstdifference says:

    An England fan is being chased by a tiger, a crocodile and J. Sexton.

    Why aren’t the dangerous animals attacking Sexton? I need to know this if I am to really understand the implications of the choice.

  6. Underdog says:

    Meades – she’s the therapist in The Departed, too.

  7. killerline says:

    Damn you FD. I’m trying to sock it to the Irish, not construct fabulous logic puzzles.

  8. laraxwell says:

    It’s like Universal Soldier, The Cassandra Crossing and Groundhog day all whipped up together with a little eye candy

  9. firstdifference says:

    @ Killer
    I am just a bit worried. If it is because Sexton has learned to control the minds of animals, then he will almost certainly be able to control the minds of simple creatures like Haskell and Ashton. Could cause all sorts of chaos for England. Changes the scenario a great deal.

  10. laraxwell says:

    Was it a siberian tiger?

  11. firstdifference says:

    a siberian tiger

    This is also another variable that needs to be considered for obvious reasons.

  12. killerline says:

    OK no one liked that one. Not funny. Not logically sound. Fine.

    How about this:

    The chance of any Irish player being selected for the lions XV?

    Now that’s fucking comedy…

  13. avsfan says:

    I just looked it up, France have only beaten NZ twice in the last decade, 14 games, 2 wins, 1 draw. For some reason it feels like more it should be more. What are you whining about AVS?

    Really? That’s all? Well, I guess all I can say is that it is the time and places of those 2 victories that makes it worse. We doormat them when it doesn’t matter, but as soon as there is a WC on the line…..

  14. avsfan says:

    The chance of any Irish player being selected for the lions XV?

    Well, that’s true. Gatland is Welsh after all, and apparently, according to him the Welsh don’t like the Irish, so fat chance.

  15. firstdifference says:

    s soon as there is a WC on the line

    Bah, we would have taken you in ’99. Wouldn’t you rather lose to the French than the Aussies?

  16. killerline says:

    @AVS bang-on.

    Coupled with the fact that they’re Dog-ugly baked-glass pass-dropping hypermorons.

    Lions tour……..ha…..hahahaha..hahahahahagaghahaha

  17. firstdifference says:

    Given recent form against Australia, the Lions team should be made up entirely of the Irish and Scots.

  18. Archie says:

    @ FD,

    Hah — true! Although definitely no Welsh players in that case…

  19. killerline says:

    Great idea FD. Fabulous idea.

    Fill the XV with the most overrated set of player I’ve ever stared at in stunned disbelief.

    You’d love that wouldn’t you?

  20. meadesian says:

    Joshua, that was it.

  21. Archie says:

    In all seriousness though, I see one or two Wales players making the team on form — and one of them is likely to be Faletau. Given their mental fragility and inability to put away the Aussies I’d not want any more there in any case.

  22. firstdifference says:

    This is me in br’er rabbit mode.

  23. firstdifference says:

    I don’t get the Faletau love at all. Hard worker, not that effective.

  24. avsfan says:

    Bah, we would have taken you in ’99. Wouldn’t you rather lose to the French than the Aussies?

    Hmmmmm…….choose your poison time. Yes. I would take a beating from the French in such situations.

  25. killerline says:

    @FD really?

    Toby F’s the man.

  26. avsfan says:

    Healy, POC ( with the proviso that he is fully fit ), Zebo, BOD. Perhaps SOB.

  27. turduckenshoot says:

    Flaetau will go, lions arn’t blessed with loads of great 8’s

  28. killerline says:

    Plus he has the added bonus of keeping that foppish, rudderless, shitehawk Heaslip out of the XV.

  29. laraxwell says:

    Yes The English are gorgeous…they’ll all go…dazzling good looks will beat them Aussies for sure.Irish have no skillset cos our limbs aren’t the same size and we got jammy arms and our fingers got the shakes cos of the booze and we fart too much and we don’t see very well..can’t breathe neither cos our teeth ain’t straight
    Have I missed anything?

  30. killerline says:

    POC, BOD, what is this magical memory lane?

    Feck’s sake.

  31. firstdifference says:

    @ Killer

    It might be a taste thing. My favorite player was Willie Ofahengaue, when I first got into rugby as child. I like big rampaging as No 8.

  32. killerline says:


    You missed out the massive amount Ireland suck, otherwise accurate.

  33. laraxwell says:

    Mike Philllips will go cos my sister texted me yesterday to tell me he is PHWOAR

  34. firstdifference says:

    Then Willie O was replaced by Toutai Kefu. O where, O where have all the Australian No 8s gone.?

  35. killerline says:

    Best. Oh that’s a good one. You’re trolling me now AVS.

    Best, POC, BOD, is Keith Wood available?

  36. Archie says:

    Irish and Scottish teams combine rather nicely!

  37. avsfan says:

    Having Manu play outside a guy as streetwise as BOD makes sense, and you know it. Who would you have? Roberts? 36? Some Sottish guy I can’t even name?

  38. meadesian says:

    FD, didn’t Willie O play blindside? Who was that lanky bruiser of an 8 you had back then? Something Gavin?

  39. turduckenshoot says:

    If MIke Phillips goes on the lions tour I will make a Gatland voodoo doll.

  40. Archie says:

    @ Avs,

    So Irish+Scottish only team:

    Healy Best Rev/Ross?
    POC/Ryan Gray
    SOB Heaslip Brown/Rennie
    Ladlaw Sexton
    Zebo Scott BOD Gilroy/Maitland


  41. firstdifference says:

    Willie O played both positions. I can’t remember if played 6 more than 8 for the Wallabies. Tim Gavin is the one you are thinking of. Willie O was a good guy, I remember him coming to one of my team’s trainings when I was about 9 or 10, I really hope I am not imagining this.

  42. turduckenshoot says:

    @ Avs

    Sean Lamont is a bang on cert for the lions

  43. Archie says:

    (I reckon Hogg and Kearney are already in a shoot-out for starting FB, with Halfpenny on the bench.)

  44. killerline says:

    Healy Best Rev/Ross?
    POC/Ryan Gray
    SOB Heaslip Brown/Rennie
    Ladlaw Sexton
    Zebo Scott BOD Gilroy/Maitland

    Terrifying. For the physios that travel with them.

  45. therealbennyblanco says:

    Evening/morning all,

    The French eh? Never fail to live up to their own cliche. Good on Italy though, despite ruining my picks. The French should be angry after that, Wales be warned.

    Interesting first weekend. I watched the England-Scotland game live. I’d give England 6 out of 10. Room for improvement. One thing I did like was the way they came away from attacks within the Scotland 22 with tries. It wasn’t that long ago that I was bemoaning how England seems to do worse at scoring tries the closer they got to the try line. Points conceded: the first try was because of a poorly organised kick-chase. Hogg looked up and saw Lions-Captain-Elect Cole in front of him and thought all his Christmases had come at once. I thought the penalty that Tom Youngs gave away was very harsh. Rolland doesn’t seem to realise that it isn’t a ruck until there is a player from each side there. England will need to take it up a couple of notches to beat Ireland away though.

    Wales-Ireland: I watched this recorded yesterday morning, after I read the match report. I was expecting an amazing game based on the report but the first half was absolute gash. Passing quality was generally poor apart from BOD’s moment of genius. Wales were abject; passing the ball at people’s heads, the crowd…terrible. And the choke tackle: I mean, come on! How long have Ireland favoured this tactic? And to STILL get caught out by it?
    I thought Rory Best was superb in the first half, but I was an England coach, I’d be putting a jumper up at 2 in the lineout every time, his lineout throwing was low and flat on several occasions, chances for steals there.

  46. avsfan says:

    Tim Gavin, I believe. Now, they have Palu, who can’t catch a break with injuries, and blows hot and cold when fit. Willie O was awesome.

  47. meadesian says:

    Tim Gavin, that was it. I seem to remember Willie O playing 6 more than 8, but it’s a long time ago.

    I can definitely confirm that Willie O did exist though, FD, if that’s what you’re worrying about. We’re all real too.

    You’ve been watching sauce code haven’t you?

  48. @Lara

    mrskjh has added 1/2penny to her list, and reckons yer sister needs to meet my shovel

    Cian Healy 2013 Lions captain

  49. firstdifference says:

    Just looked at his stats on Scrum.com, Willie O has beaten the ABs more than he lost to them. Not too many players who could say that after 12 matches.

  50. Archie says:

    @ Killer,

    Them too. Still tasty!

    @ BennyB,

    Dan Cole, Lions Captain: look into your heart, you know it to be true! 😉

  51. laraxwell says:

    3.8 million bucks for a 30 second ad during thr Superbowl

  52. avsfan says:

    Right. Off to watch the Bowl. Night all.

  53. killerline says:


    Cian Healy 2013 Lions captain

    Oh yeah for definite. Then a knighthood for the lad. And a PhD in astrophysics.

    Irishmen in the Lions XV you lot bloody kill me.

  54. killerline says:

    Lions 2013:

    Jenkins Youngs Cole
    Gray Parling
    Robshaw Toby F Tipuric



    Visser Hogg Ashton

  55. laraxwell says:

    1/2penny looks like a goblin

  56. elsnoopio says:


    3.8 million bucks for a 30 second ad during thr Superbowl

    Sounded a bit pricey to me, first off.
    Then I put in some context – you could only buy the whole playing squad of one of the Welsh regions for that and it suddenly didn’t seem that much.

  57. killerline says:

    See how much better it is without Irish dinosaurs clogging the team up with their ‘one last tour’ bullshit?

  58. laraxwell says:

    I am all for Faz starting so long as he goes to the bathroom before the games

  59. elsnoopio says:

    No need to pick Jenkins if you’ve already picked two token Welsh in the backrow.

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