Hask Backstage Exclusive: Loose Head Prop In Talks To Ink ZZ Top Deal!

marlerHi there, hope y’all been enjoying the Six Nations. Y’all know I don’t normally talk like this. Usually it’s, “Farrrrrkkkk! Go easy on the plums, Launchbury!” But I’ve been tryin’ to stay in the zone coz I’ve got ma old blue eyes on those bearded ones and I wanna be in the band for the tour.

zztopY’all got it in one. ZZ Top have approached me about guesting on their upcoming tour of Oz with dates in Brisbane, Melbourne and Sydney. Who’d a thunk it? Turns out they saw me featured on a Houston cable TV show called Hairstyles To Make Yer Maw Puke! and fell bass-over-drumkit in love.

marler1Conor O’Shea didn’t for what it’s worth.

In case y’all were wondering, ZZ Top were why I grew the beard.

beardThey were rocking over in their private ZZ Top jet – Hair Force One – to audition me. Those guys know their beards.

Y’all mightn’t have noticed them at Murrayfield but they were there. I emptied ma lungs to ma favourite song, Crouch Touch Engage! The boys were impressed. Said I made the Rev’s Sent Forth By God’s Blessing sound like the wimp’s ditty it was. They were particularly pleased I didn’t get carded. Moralistic lot.

Then SCW stuck his bib in. Said shave off thy beard, ye look like a thug. Y’all can imagine ma dilemma. But ZZ Top, to their eternal credit, understood. Nobs like SCW were used for target practice in Texas in the old days. So I waved ma razor in the general direction of ma moosh.

stubbleNext came Ireland. The Irish scrum boys were a bit tougher than the Scots and maybe more ZZ Top’s thing. Ma rendition of One-Two-Three-One-Two-Three on the push impressed the hell out of the boys. Luckily they couldn’t make it to Twickenham for the France game.

beardsThey had to pop back to the States to evict a family of owls that had set up home in Dusty and Billy’s beards. Ah admit I wasn’t on song against the French. At least till that fruit-loop French coach yanked two-thirds of his front row.

So it’s Italy and Wales to come. Two auditions away from ZZ Top’s front row.

SCW’s still waiting for Bucks Fizz to call.

Overheard by Coddfish while watching the Grammys

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685 Responses to Hask Backstage Exclusive: Loose Head Prop In Talks To Ink ZZ Top Deal!

  1. raceofstalwarts says:

    Drunken sevens or touch is a great idea.

  2. meadesian says:

    We should probably get an ambulance parked up on standby, like they do at international games.

  3. LarryM says:

    Baldy – would love to see you dance.

    DOMINATION.

  4. avsfan says:

    If you guys descend into drunken 7s, someone must take along a video camera.

    As meades implied – keep the noise down though, Killer’ll be trying to get some kip.

  5. meadesian says:

    When we say sleeping we mean he’ll have put himself on standby. Not a full power down.

  6. raceofstalwarts says:

    I think touch is a better idea.

  7. meadesian says:

    Pervert.

  8. Archie says:

    What’s this talk of sevens? And why as a front-row do I feel left out? 😉

  9. Archie says:

    Actually … I did play 7s once as a hooker. Mainly to guarantee a win at every scrum.

  10. yesiamclutz says:

    You can play sevens as a prop Archie, you’ll just be shit.

    Maybe you need some special rules, like knock ten metres off the size of the pitch for every front rower on the pitch…

    Oh, is there a mod in the house currently btw?

  11. raceofstalwarts says:

    Unlikely to be a mod around. Sag is in Scotland so will be asleep because of the time difference and cat will be out trying to kill birds.

  12. elsnoopio says:

    @Archie

    What’s this talk of sevens? And why as a front-row do I feel left out? 😉

    There will probably be some trees you can practice pushing against?
    That’s what forwards enjoy, right?
    Pushing stuff.

  13. Expro-

    You’re fine. Don’t worry.

  14. Skyfall didn’t make any bloody sense. And is shit.

    This.

  15. MisterIks says:

    RoS – you may be right about Sag, but take it from me this is not the best time to be hunting birds.

  16. yesiamclutz says:

    Actually, one of the great joys of amateur sevens is seeing some slow-poke forward who’s decided for some mad reason to play get a big hit in on some Fancy Dan speedster back. The mere memory of such seeing events brings a tear to my eye, and if everyone, including the Fancy Dan’s team mates cheer, so much the better.

    DCC, I’v got an ATL idea, ask everyone what position they primarily played (it’ll need a N/A option). I get the impression this is a backs dominated blog, the fact that the primary communication method isn’t grunting and physical violence is my main clue.

  17. tichtheid says:

    “Skyfall didn’t make any bloody sense. And is shit.

    This.”

    It made perfect sense. It was much more multi-layered than most Bond films and it had a very strong 60s styling to boot.

    It was light on explosions though, if that’s what you mean by “shit”.

  18. HopWired says:

    Aaargh! A new blog (excellent work By Codd) and 12 pages of comments, more by the time I have read through to the 12th page, and the whole thing is creaky by the time I’ve done reading and am ready to post.

    And, being an ex (very, very much ex) LP I have forgotten what I was going to post. I remember the Thatcher years & can vouch for Ticht’s take on those days; will skip the rest of the politics talk as it is all history & I need to be looking forward, not back.
    As for the Dawkins issue, it is very much a “balance of probabilities” thing for me & I see no reason for faith without experimental backing or evidence.
    Highlanders have a bye this weekend. Can’t see any sense in getting teams to sit out a bye on the 2nd weekend of competition, but they didn’t ask me how to run the damn thing.

    Anyone been to the Easter Rugby tournament thing at Douglas in the Isle of Man? Not sure if it still happens, but was a lairy piss-up of huge proportions back in the late 70’s/early 80’s. Did myself a bit of damage there.

    I may come back (or to new blog) during/after the Blues V Crusaders this evening (our time)…

  19. I’ll throw in an example as I’m feeling expansive.
    “I think Healy’s ban was too short while I also support his appeal.”
    Give yourself a hernia with that kind of thing.

    I have been travelling so this is a delayed response. I assume this is directed at me given my comments last night.Both these things concern different states of the world. What happened prior and up to sentencing and what Healy is then entitled to do after sentencing.

    An ideal world would be one where Healy got the appropriate sentence and then either appealed and had his claim thrown out or not appealed because there was no grounds. In this second best world we live in, he got an ethically incorrect sentence that gave him grounds for appeal and he did. In the second best world, appealing is something everyone is and should be entitled to do. There is no contradiction here. It’s not that complex.

  20. therealbennyblanco says:

    Jeez, I was going to go to Suncorp for the Reds-Hurricanes game but it has just started absolutely chucking it down and doesn’t look like stopping any time soon. Hmmm…. I think the non-selection of Harris might be a problem in this weather. Cooper better have his kicking boots on.

    Firstdifference,
    Waratahs should do well against the Rebels tonight hey? I’ve tipped them to win comfortably.

  21. Tovarishch says:

    Watched the iPlayer Paris-Dakar documentary last night. Thought it was very good and well balanced except for some prat of a university lecturer who complained that the cars were illegal to use in Europe so why should they be allowed in Africa. Someone from the Geography department should point out to him the location of Paris.

    It achieved its prime objective, though, in making Mark Thatcher look a prize tit. /

  22. Tovarishch says:

    I just sent a not out to various colleagues regarding the RWC 7’s, to be held in Moscow this year. Someone asked – “Are the Hungarians fielding a team” – you can imagine my response.

    If anyone fancies coming over for the tournament, let me know and I could arrange a second works outing.

  23. Tovarishch says:

    Who could this be (© Grauniad Blogs)?

    Trendmeister

    28 February 2013 2:45pm

    CAN’T STOP LAUGHING!

    CAN’T WAIT FOR THE GAME!

    HASHTAG YOUKEEPTELLINGYOURSELVESYOUREGOODISHALLKEEPLAUGHIHNG

    Welcome back @Trendy

  24. Tovarishch says:

    dermott – Do you mean my efforts have been wasted?

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