No More Debate: Definitive Results


It’s here. After literally some research, the Jib-O-Meter 500 MkI (International Calibration) is here.

The Breakthrough!

The Breakthrough!

It was only through the fortuitous discovery of the Sexton-Flood Null Point [above] that this massive leap forward in objective judgement of Flyhalf play was made possible. The Nobel committee have been made aware.

Anyway, enough of this preamble, let’s get on to the important stuff – the ending of doubt – the first set of results are in. Let’s just quickly familiarise ourselves with the Jib-O-Meter 500.

Obviously, the main reading is Jib, notice that there is a large area of sub-zero Jib. This is because, during my research, I found that actually, positive readings were very rare, almost as rare as zero readings, so the meter is calibrated to reflect this. The only other readout to pay attention to is the OF LED (DC LED in SH versions) – this indicates an overload of Jib. Okay? Now, the results:

Jib-O-Meter_500_Sexton-FlooThis is the actual run on Jonny Sexton. You will see the meter reading exactly 0 mKutts of Jib.

An unusual result only seen again in the Flood run. I won’t publish that meter as it’s identical.

Now is a good time to describe what exactly Jib is and how it can be detected.

The Jib Field permeates all space in the universe and acts at right angles to the more well known Higgs Field. Due to this 90° orientation to the Higgs Field, perturbations in the Jib Field have the effect of lessening matter’s resistance to the Higgs Field. This makes the matter in the area of the Jib perturbations less massive and move through time more quickly relative to the non-perturbed area.

As there are always perturbations in the Jib Field, it was only when the highly unusual Sexton-Flood Null Point was detected, that any kind of useful calibration could be made, and this groundbreaking meter constructed. It does require additional hardware of course to keep it synchronised with the timeline of the rugby match being observed.

Jib-O-Meter 500 Synchroniser

Jib-O-Meter 500 Synchroniser

Now, for the outstanding result in the Northern Hemisphere:

This run almost blew the meter!

This run almost blew the meter!

This, as I’m sure you will have surmised, was the run taken on Owen Farrell during the Autumn International against the All Blacks.

Sadly, the system was completely overloaded by Farrell in the opening weekend of this years Six Nations, so no further runs were possible in the competition. It is hoped that it will be up and functioning again for the Lions series at the latest. Low power runs are planned for the Quins – Munster match this weekend.

About sagmog

Just the facts, man.
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724 Responses to No More Debate: Definitive Results

  1. dermott says:

    BP try to the Canes. Lucky bounce but great skills to recover the ball by Savea.

  2. coddfish says:

    Not sure which Savea impresses me the most

  3. coddfish says:

    Hope the 3 HEC matches I plan to watch match up to the 3 scoopers I have seen this weekend

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