Heineken Cup Quarter Final Weekend


Saturday 6th April 2013

ASM Clermont Auvergne  v   Montpellier

36 – 14

Saracens  v   Ulster Rugby

Sunday 7th April 2013

Harlequins  v   Munster Rugby

Toulon  v   Leicester Tigers

Quarter final time. The smart money is on four home wins, but, apparently, statistically, there is always one that goes against the head. Let’s take a look.

No upset there, despite Montpellier having the amazing Johnny Beattie, Clermont have way too much for them. Upset chances: Nil.

Nah. Ulster have been slowly deflating like a leaky whoopee cushion for some time now, that slightly limp farting sound you hear is Sarries pack sitting on them. Upset chances: Nil.

More or less full strength, at home, with their handsome – if giant-tongued – leader rested and raring to go and the wonderful Nick Evans at 10 directing operations. Against Munster, who although they have POC back, are in a state of stylistic transition, to which end have selected youngster Colostomy Ron at 10. Upset chances: Nil.

Here we have the outlier. The expensively assembled ancient might of Toulon versus Tigers, who, man for man, on paper at least, are superior in every way. Will home advantage be enough to swing it for Toulon? With the majestic Toby Flood unleashing England’s finest backline, this is the one to watch. Upset chances: Some.



So, there we have it. If you’re looking for one against the head, look no further than Tigers. You won’t regret it.

About sagmog

Just the facts, man.
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473 Responses to Heineken Cup Quarter Final Weekend

  1. snakkbar says:

    indeed. annoying in the way that he’s a masterful cheat.

  2. killerline says:

    @FD I’m gonna get started soon son

  3. crashtopuss says:

    Right, gone now. Adios amigos.

  4. killerline says:

    Snak he’s just annoying. Being very good too just amplifies it.

  5. killerline says:

    @Crash just go.

  6. Onlyonet says:

    @YIAC- Oh yes he’s a massive twat don’t get me wrong.

  7. snakkbar says:

    george gregan was a punchable little bastard.

  8. @ Killer

    That’s good. When a northerner randomly walks up and punches me I will know it is you and the reason for the punch.

  9. killerline says:

    Gregan was infuriating but he’s not in Dawson’s league. I don’t think anyone is.

  10. yesiamclutz says:


    It’s a punchable XV, so I figure I don’t need that strong a justification. Brill player, best 7 and international captain of the last 5-10 years, magnificient cheat, and I wish he was English. I’d still enjoy it if he got Tuliagied like Ashton did a few years back.

  11. killerline says:

    @FD then we can get a coffee?

  12. @ Killer
    Sure, why not.

  13. MichaelVaughanMyLord says:

    Can’t believe people are seriously suggesting Cooper isn’t the most punchable. Utter twat and face like a weasel.

  14. killerline says:

    @MVML it’s a debate. Your opinion has been noted.

  15. I am surprised none of you bitter lions fans have brought up Umaga and Meelamu

  16. snakkbar says:

    totally agree on dawson. gregan just a back-up if someone takes dawson out before the game.

  17. killerline says:

    Where’s that rotter Wayne Barnes AVS with my avatar? The suspense is killing me…..

  18. killerline says:

    BOD I forgot him!!!!!!!!!!!

    Now the Irish have gone to bed we can get this thing rolling.

    Cheers FD.

  19. sagmog says:

    That swallow dive of his…
    Thank dog nobody else does it.

    Ross Ford.
    With a railway spike.

  20. meadesian says:

    Of course FD, if an unknown northerner walks up to you, punches you in the face without warning, then suggests a coffee and you agree, you’ve actually just accepted their marriage proposal. Works for both sexes too.

  21. yosoy says:

    I am surprised none of you bitter lions fans have brought up Umaga and Meelamu

    Umaga’s a great bloke: stopped Charvis swallowing his tongue, made Weepu cry. What’s not to like?

  22. saltysam says:

    Eddie Butler. Qualifies twice I reckon, once as a player and again as a hack.

  23. sagmog says:

    I’d quite like to batter Seb Vettel with my cricket bat.
    Then break every finger in both hands to stop that No.1 gesture.
    Shave his wavy head as well.
    Maybe a swift kick in the baws.
    And give him a shite car.
    Plus make him live on solely Red Bull.
    And insert Christian Horner into him, head first.

  24. yesiamclutz says:


    F1 is a sport where it must be easier to list who isn’t punchable than is surely?

  25. yesiamclutz says:

    Just watching this evenings Dr. Who on iplayer. Start feels a bit like the Dr. is a paedo grooming his latest companion… disturbing.

  26. famkeflaviasandwich says:

    just back from the pub…..a nice few pints watching the Borg do Ulster, missed the re-calibrating of the Jib-O-Meter last night….shoe-in for the Lions is our Madigan

    I digress, Taken is on the box and am trying to watch it, type this and play a full tilt poker tourney..

    I just made a fantastic little dish for sextonhalfpennysandwich and the eldest….a chorizo and prawn in a tomato&basil sauce with oven fresh baguette…..twas luverly,

  27. killerline says:

    Great work FFS you’re living the dream.

  28. killerline says:

    Larry if you’re reading: unlucky mate.

    Ulster weren’t quite ready to turn over a 1-dimensional but impressively resolute team.

  29. killerline says:

    *Feels blog’s pulse*


  30. killerline says:

    *Crosses chest*

    May dog have mercy on its soul.

  31. famkeflaviasandwich says:

    Killer, the mrs is disappointed by Famke in Taken, not her acting, but the fact that she is a potential replacement for said mrs……cheek of her….

  32. killerline says:

    No pleasing some people mate…

  33. famkeflaviasandwich says:

    just got busted in the poker may have to go back down the village for more cards….25, I’d say Drop is a dab hand at it….oh that and some more Heineken(sponsor of choice) and male company

  34. Borderboy says:

    Punchables? How about the whole 1990 England team? Specifically Carling, Guscott, Moore. (I’m sure there would be a few English folk that would say Jeffrey, Calder, Chalmers!). I know that’s going back a bit, but who said it had to be now? I can hold a grudge with the best of them……….

    F1 – I’m with Sag on Vettel, but not Di Resta or Webber (he’s 6’5”!).

    On a different note – listening to a guy called Mark Kozelek doing AC/DC acoustically. It’s actually pretty damn good.

  35. killerline says:

    AC/DC I’d love to punch those guys.

  36. Borderboy says:

    Killer – what have they done to the Porce-Cat to annoy you?

  37. yesiamclutz says:

    The entire BBC commentary team with exception of Keith Wood, Phillp Matthews and Brian Moore are immensely punchable.

  38. yesiamclutz says:

    Also, I suspect the entire cast of reprobates from this blog. Sanctimonious, smug, self righteous, self declared experts that we are.

  39. Borderboy says:

    Andrew Cotter and Jill Douglas are OK.

  40. snakkbar says:

    Andy Nicol is the most banal waste of space of any of them.

  41. Borderboy says:

    Actually – Match of the Day is on with Shearer and Lawrenson – I think I’ve found the most punchable guys on sports TV – only Hansen and Savage can compete with them.

  42. tompirracas says:

    “Andy Nicol is the most banal waste of space of any of them.”

    Sonia McLaughlin pisses all over Andy Nicol in a banal waste of space competition. She’s the world leader, the number 1, the head honcho, the top banana, the ne plus ultra, the ultimate, the duchess of the dull question, the tsarina of the superfluous, the Infanta of the inane, the baroness of the banal, the archduchess of the achingly bad “How do you feel …?” school of questions.

  43. yesiamclutz says:


    It’s not worth even bothering with football, this list is so long and so comprehensive as to be a sisyphean task.

    But if you’re ever in a position to punch Cristiano Ronaldo, do it, for all right thinking people everywhere.

    Anyway I’m off. Night all

  44. snakkbar says:

    sonia is dross defined. not part of the commentary team – post match interviews only isn’t it?

  45. @ killer

    Do you think Avs is trying to build tension? I am on the edge of my seat waiting for the big reveal of your new avatar.

  46. snakkbar says:

    have finished listening to hendrix’s previously unreleased ‘people, hell and angels’ (rather good) and now off to spend far too much on a new bike helmet. cheers

  47. tompirracas says:

    snakkbar, She gives little reports on injuries during the game so she could be included. BB mentioned the lovely Jill Douglas who does the same thing.

  48. Onlyonet says:

    People to punch in F1 – any one that is nasty to Jenson Button.

    I once met him in the Adams street club, at the launch of a car magazine, i was baby sitting a producer of a well known racing videogame. when he came over and introduced him self, was the most polite, pleasant, charming multi millionaire with a super model girlfriend I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting… God I want to be like him when I grow up.

  49. elsnoopio says:

    Punchable 15
    Venter to coach.
    One of the most punchable people ever involved in pro-sport. Or just in life.

  50. Tovarishch says:

    Phil Davies for coach – The ears have it.

  51. Tovarishch says:

    crash – you need to adjust your colour – he’s Polish.

    Another vote for Vettel (and Hamilton)

  52. Onlyonet, my bro works for mclaren and says Jensen is so genuine and nice. He has loads of time for the tech guys – basically Ace Rimmer.

  53. dermott says:

    Morning all. Happy Blessed Notker The Stammerer Day to you all. Time to collect your Bumper Blessed Notker The Stammerer Day edition of THE SUNDAY Hask from your newsagent or convenience store:


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