The All-Frowning All-Glowering Hask Riddle #3

Get out of the costume, get an atlas and find Argentina! and find Argen

“Get out of the costume, get an Atlas and find Argentina!”

That’s pretty much how it happened. I’d kitted myself out for the Lions in anticipation and a Fatland lackey went out of his way to avoid letting me down gently.

Sucks. Particularly as I’d come up with a whole new supply of thigh-slapping, IQ-testing riddles to keep the lads entertained in Vegemite Sandwichville. Well, screw them. They’ll have to settle for watching Hoggy trying to cover fly-half for a giggle.

Anyway, I’ll save the thigh-slapping IQ-testers for the lads in Argentina and leave you with this little gem of a brain-teasing rib-tickler.

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822 Responses to The All-Frowning All-Glowering Hask Riddle #3

  1. LarryM says:

    @baldy – everyone loves the Pro12, except you.

    Try it, you might even like it:

  2. Baldy says:

    So I see that sky are so desperate for European rugby to televise have stooped to previously unimaginable depths…

    … Gonna start showing the Rabo Pro12

    Now don’t say we never do anything for you celts!

    Apparently this may be alongside the terrestrial broadcasters, but more cash for the Rabo!

  3. tichtheid says:

    There is a follicly challenged comedian in Brighton, Terry Garoghan, who encourages his audience to shout “Fuck off Baldy” when he appears on stage.

  4. LarryM says:

    @ElSuavo – you’re not going to get someone as good as Carter.

    Moreover, you’re not going even going to get a lesser player with an equally all-round game.

    This means the whole ABs backline might take a little tweak. Would Cruden dropped in, alongside say:

    Savea, Nonu, Smith, Jane
    Dagg

    be able to win you games on the back foot? Away to the Boks?

    I would have no worries about Cruden whatsoever in attack, he’s a rapier…

    Ah, this is a bit pointless. You could transplant anyone into a theoretical backline then pick holes in their game. Once Carter leaves you’ll have to draw a line. Can’t compare everything afterwards to him, doesn’t help anything.

  5. LarryM says:

    And you could pick someone out of the crowd at random pre-match and still beat Ireland.

  6. ElSuavo says:

    I’m getting the feeling that this year could be the All Blacks RWC-winners hangover season. Generally the RWC winners have faltered a bit the following year and while the ABs did OK last year there are signs that they may be struggling to attain their usual level this year.

    Still, Super15 isn’t necessarily a guide to international form so it will be interesting to see how the “Rugby Championship” goes, and the French tour.

  7. Baldy says:

    Ha I’m sure I’d thoroughly enjoy the pro12, and given the coverage will be on sky, will no doubt watch a lot more of it since I have sky anyway!

  8. tichtheid says:

    It’s not just Carter, though. The buggers have had a ridiculous run of back row players. I know they are always strong there, but take a look at the last ten to fifteen years, it’s sickening, really.

  9. crashtopuss says:

    @baldy

    Sky getting bored of all the Aviva stodge are they?

  10. tichtheid says:

    …. and their flaming back three.

    Just as well their midfield is always pish, eh?

  11. Chekhovian says:

    Well, I survived my first touch rugby outing intact. Little bit achy this morning, but otherwise unbroken.

    Had a great time too. Played with a mixed bunch of Aussie, Kiwi and UK blokes, most of whom I’d never met until last night. Had a quick warm up, chucked the ball around a bit (I didn’t drop it!), and then got straight into the first game, which we won 7-0. Astounding. No tries for me, but a lovely assist – got the ball, drew the man and passed to our overlapping winger, which already makes me a better rugby player than Nikki Walker. Beautiful.

    Second game in the fading light was a wakeup call, as we lost 4-1 to a very organised team with lots more subs than us. They pulled us out of shape on a few occasions, but we went down fighting. Was absolutely shagged afterwards, and my calves cramped up on the tube home. Great fun.

  12. sagmog says:

    Once Carter leaves you’ll have to draw a line. Can’t compare everything afterwards to him, doesn’t help anything.

    Yup.
    Same problem England had replacing Jonny, or Ireland replacing ROG.
    Have to accept some stop gap selection ’til the next real deal comes along.
    Luckily, Scotland haven’t had an iconic FH in the pro era, must be terrible.

  13. LarryM says:

    @ticht – I don’t think you can always expect McCaw-levels of quality, but in the positions where the ABs don’t have someone amazing they still always seem to be choosing from several very good options.

    Ireland? Michael Bent. And things used to be much worse.

  14. Craigsman says:

    Suav – are you trying to trick me into seriously hoping that England could beat the ABs twice in a row?

  15. ElSuavo says:

    Larry, that’s the problem, really; it will be a long time before we someone coming close to DC’s freakish calibre. But we just have to pick who seems the best once DC is out and ask him to step-up. Initially he will get a lot of protection & help from the rest of the team (assuming we find someone we can stick with for a while & don’t develop a revolving door trying to find the messiah) but to stick at AB’s level he will have to develop as he goes.

  16. LarryM says:

    Second game in the fading light was a wakeup call, as we lost 4-1 to a very organised team with lots more subs than us. They pulled us out of shape on a few occasions, but we went down fighting. Was absolutely shagged afterwards, and my calves cramped up on the tube home. Great fun.

    I played a sevens tournament in Acton a few years ago.

    In the middle of our second game, the other team noticed our lot were absolutely hanging, just as they brought on some fresh legs…

    They looked to the sideline, then looked all around. One of their guys went, “Wait, don’t you have any subs?”

    No lads, there are only seven of us.

    Horrific day! I think I’m still getting my breath back.

  17. ElSuavo says:

    @Craigs, I dunno – when is the next Eng V NZ match-up? Next autumn series? But no – I was suggesting they might lose to good sides like the Boks & Aus, not to 6N runners-up 🙂

  18. Craigsman says:

    Suav – yeah walked into that. Still, I can always hope.

  19. ElSuavo says:

    Well done, Chek! Makes me glad I’m too old & too anti-social to get involved in that sort of exertion. (Says he from the couch, with Super15 on tv and a beer on 1 side & a snoring dog on the other.)

  20. MichaelVaughanMyLord says:

    New Zealand are indeed playing England this autumn, followed I believe by a 3 Test series in UnZud next summer.

  21. CJ says:

    I’m hungover today. I am playing 7s tomorrow. Bad times.

  22. Chekhovian says:

    @ElSuavo

    Yours is probably a better scenario.

  23. Craigsman says:

    MVML – Yay! We go back to NZ. What could go wrong?

  24. Chekhovian says:

    @CJ

    A day’s grace. What you worried about?

  25. LarryM says:

    @CJ – what Chek said. Or is this a subtle way of saying “and I’m getting wrecked tonight as well”?

  26. CJ says:

    “A day’s grace. What you worried about?”

    you play a little touch and pass and now you are all mouth.

  27. LarryM says:

    The more I think about the Lions lack of 10/12 options the more I really don’t like it.

  28. LarryM says:

    And this blog is creaking, spitting me back a page when I post.

  29. ElSuavo says:

    MVML, never been sure about that phonetic UnZud representation of the kiwi accent. I figure we talk with reasonable vowels. We don’t ‘ee’ our ‘i’s like the Aussies do, which is why they diss us for ‘fush & chups’ while to our ears they want to eat ‘feesh and cheeps’, eh?

  30. crashtopuss says:

    you play a little touch and pass and now you are all mouth.

    Out of context that’s almost like an insult between a veteran prostitute and the new gal on the corner.

    Wonderful.

  31. expro2013 says:

    @Larry

    Yes – a couple of key injuries and the Lions might go into a test with Hogg at 10.

    my email to the IRB to allow Emerick to play for the Lions as injury backup to BOD was ignored.

  32. MichaelVaughanMyLord says:

    “And this blog is creaking, spitting me back a page when I post.”

    That happens to me on a regular basis, I think it’s the browser rather than the blog.

  33. ElSuavo says:

    Blues V Stormers has got to the 60-min mark and no tries! Blues 15 – 3 up and weathering a lot of Stormers pressure. It could stil slip away from them, but they have done well as the Stormers looked impressively dominant in the 1st half.

  34. Chekhovian says:

    you play a little touch and pass and now you are all mouth.

    Fair point. I wouldn’t even think about playing proper 7s now. Too slow, too unfit and not good enough at tackling.

    Touch rugby is the sport for me.

  35. expro2013 says:

    Jeff Hanneman of Slayer has died. Long term complications of a spider bite in 2011.

    Slayer are actually rugby fans, and wrote a song about rugby called ‘scrum’ on ‘Diabolus in Musica’

    i’ve seen them wearing AB shirts onstage.

  36. ElSuavo says:

    And ElSuavo delivers the kiss of death – Stormers manage a try (converted) to get back to 15 – 10 with a quarter-hour still to run. And the try was scored by de Villiers who I was bad-mouthing just a week or 2 ago. It’s obviously not just the Highlanders that I am jinxing these days!

  37. Baldy says:

    Larry/expro –

    Latest word seems to be that Bod is seen as te aux 12 to be tried inside Manu..

    And that they also want to try Roberts & Manu as well

    So there’s some exciting options there…

    Did you see those interviews where graham Rowntree is asked about the centres being too one dimensional..

    No, we want to be able to play with both Pace & Power..

    Still seems pretty one dimensional to
    Me..

  38. utnapishtm says:

    @expro

    Would be interesting to see a composite xv second tier tourney
    Say Americas (excl arg) europe (not 6n), africa (not sa) asia and pacific
    Could go a long way in spreading the 15 a side code

  39. CJ says:

    it is really good isnt it chek! I love it so much. Great summer sport and sounds like you took to it well. Leeds Council organise a tournament with 20+ local rugby league teams. A side is entered by ex/current pros including Willie Poching and Ryan Hall. Pretty awesome.

  40. apartridgeinparis says:

    @chek

    Too slow, too unfit and not good enough at tackling.

    Sounds like what my rugby teacher at school used to put on my end of season reports…

    Blues 15 – 3 up

    Checks email to inevitably find that I tipped the Stormers

  41. ElSuavo says:

    Great example of the Commentators Curse there – I think it was Tony Johnston said, as Noakes lined up for a 6th shot at goal “Noakes with a chance to be the 1st Blues player to score 6 penalties in a match, here” and, of course, Noakes subsequently missed it. First miss!

    (But he has managed another penalty as I typed this.)

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