‘Twas the first time all four of my boys started a ‘Saders Superdooper 15 match together. Oh, and my nephew Ben Funnell started the match at hooker, too.
I can’t believe I gave birth to a lock, two flankers and a back. I’ve been busy checking the family tree for long-lost Whitelocks and Funnells. Just in case. Imagine 15 of us taking the field for the ‘Saders …
Unfortunately, they didn’t manage to win the match on April 5th. Now I’m objective when it comes to my boys playing rugby but anyone with SkySport and without cataracts could see that 10/15ths of the team played like horse manure. Still, at least the match was in Safferland, so it’s not as if it really counts.
The four boys – plus cousin Ben – are coming home to Mangatainoka to celebrate. I think all of the area’s 85,000 folk must have been helping us get ready!
It’s a good thing we rear our own chickens and pigs – we’ve had to fatten two pigs just to fill up Luke!
We also had the floor boards reinforced and all the door frames widened and made taller to accommodate Sam’s 6’ 8” frame. Last time he was here he broke all the furniture and got stuck in the toilet!
Now as well as doing the washing, cleaning, cheerleading and chauffeuring, I usually cut the boys’ hair when they come home. A number four with a fringe. I couldn’t be doing any of those so-called Northern haircuts! I mean, have you seen some of those English boys’ cuts? They’re trouble with a capital P for Police if ever I’ve seen it.
Now, like all mothers, I know you’re wondering about discipline. Four hulking lads, how do I control them? It’s hard. I tell them they need to stop rolling around on the floor and they just don’t listen to me. That’s where Dad comes in handy. Dad Braeden was a Junior All Black and, believe me, he hasn’t forgotten how to ruck.
I expect the boys will bring home their washing because that’s what boys do, right? I haven’t seen them since Christmas so that means about 200 sets of kit to wash for each boy, so 1,000 kits in all.
My washing line stretches all the way down to Welly! I need to ask all of Mangatainoka to help clean their boots, too, as we need to be finished before the start of next season!
Well, can’t spend any longer writing in my diary. The boys will be here soon! I can hear rumbling in the distance, must be the ‘Saders horses!
Read over Mrs Whitelock’s shoulder by Coddfish in the checkout queue at the Mangatainoka Co-op