Glossary Of Terms

The language of DOMINATION: a glossary

 Agent Orange (AO) – Gavin Henson

 Ance Larmstrong – drug-addled cyclist, cock

 AoD – this website, the Art of DOMINATION

 Assimilation – style of play developed by the Borg (see below)

 ATL – above the line; main article

 Auckland Blues – see Ospreys

 Aul han – Ulster Scots for “friend”, presumably derived from “old hand”, often used as a greeting

 Aul hanning – use as many words as possible to comprehensively disagree with a point someone else has made, typified by lengthy explanations of why one thinks every minute detail is incorrect, illustrating every perceived irrational wrong turn; (NB. meaning alters in a Sarah Palin context)

 Average Foreign Journeyman (AFJ) – Jonathan Sexton

 Baldylogic™ – process whereby a fixed conclusion is reached in the shortest possible distance, unconstrained by Facts and Reality™ (see below) and valid reasoning; typically formulated to cause maximum offense, especially to Welsh people

 The BIG BRAND – our benevolent host

 Borg – Saracens RFC

 BTL – below the line; comments and the commentariat

 “Can prop both sides” – subtle insult meaning “crap at everything”

 Canard a l’ – Gavin Henson, while briefly playing in France

 Cockodile Dundee – Danny Cipriani, while playing in Australia

 Colostomy Ron – 2013 Six Nations edition Ronads (see below)

 Dave from Swindon (DfS) – an utter, utter c*nt

 DOMINATION – things going pretty well

 Facts and Reality™ (F&R) – as billed, The Way Things Are™, doomed to forever be out of reach for AoD

 The FEAR – what happens when one’s sanguinity in fandom is challenged ahead of a fixture, tends to increase as kick off approaches

 Fetcher – see Proper 7

 (Game) Gethsemane – (game) management, esp. rugby

 Gatlandball – high-tempo bosh bosh bosh, typically using the width of the pitch, soon to be seen on a Lions tour near you (if you live in the South Pacific)

 Giant Lancaster – an insult, an argument, a large poo, an erection; anything whatsoever except Stuart Lancaster

 Grauniad (The Graun) – The Guardian, a UK newspaper that used to be good

 The GUN SHOW – our benevolent host

 GUNS – muscles, esp. biceps, esp. large

 The HASK – our benevolent host

 HOPE – meaningless succour for the intellectually barren

 HOPEFEAR – agonising pendular torture of being both mildly optimistic and deeply, darkly, dippily gloomy about your side’s prospects in an upcoming fixture. See also HOPE, FEAR

 Irish Lucan – Jamie Heaslip (see Lord Lucan)

 Jizzbucket – George North

 Killer’s Kool Kall-out (KKK) – wager on a rugby match; typically involves two people, with the loser(s) ceding control of their avatar for a week following the game as forfeit, while the choice-making winner(s) indulges in the gentle pleasure of humiliating another person just because they can

 (Lord) Lucan – when the heat comes on, this fella vanishes: Nick Easter

 Lunatic Fringe – that part of a given group of people (most typically a nation) who spout bollocks with no adherence to F&R™; members are frequently nationalistic Daves from Swindon (see above) whose only communication is “my country’s the best because I was born there” said in a million variations; the majority of people

 Nailed On – Jonathan Sexton

 Not Eddie Butler – modern day broadcaster Jesus who turns wine into words

 On the 12 – high; on drugs, legal or otherwise, recreational or performance

 The Ospreys (O’s or Os) – the Jonahs of rugby betting, whether for money or SuperBro (see below) pride, destined to achieve results based on maximal punter disappointment

 Pooper Scooper – Super Rugby

 Proper 7 – made up term for a type of player who barely (doesn’t) exist(s); say it three times in front of a mirror and Larry will appear and put your genitalia in a jam jar

 Ronads – Ronan O’Gara

 A Robshaw – unit of distance measurement, equivalent to roughly 18cm

 Shitloaf – Sam Warburton

 Silk – Ulster Scots term meaning Quade Cooper, appreciated only be those with sufficient wit

 Small-Faced Chaos Machine – Richie Gray

 Small Face Theory of Quality – Modern academic view, first suggested and subsequently largely developed by Norsked, that a rugby player’s ability is inversely proportional to his face:head size ratio

 S’SB’B – Steve ‘Stephen Borthwick’ Borthwick, former England captain and loquacious raconteur

 SuperBro – the SuperBru prediction league, former SportGuru, in which we who wax so wise about the fine game of rugby union prove definitively that we know fuck all

 The WARRIOR POET – our benevolent host

 Throbshaw – Chris Robshaw, England captain

 TLS – faking it

 Underdogging – playing down your team’s chances, frequently a symptom of FEAR or HOPEFEAR

 “We need a Proper 7” – cry for help from a broken mind; communication from a subconscious meaning “please release me from this idiot”; rugby bluffers’ cliché

 Welsh Lunatic Fringe (WLF) – see Lunatic Fringe, this lot are the Welsh chapter (disproportionately represented on the Graun’s rugby BTL)

 40 metre/yard spring times – “And I looked, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him. And power was given unto them over the fourth part of the earth, to kill with sword, and with hunger, and with death, and with the beasts of the earth.”